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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26063668">the distance between us only breaths apart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FullmetalChords/pseuds/FullmetalChords'>FullmetalChords</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mother_hearted/pseuds/mother_hearted'>mother_hearted</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Toki and Meg's Faerghus Husbands AU [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Deep Throating, Demisexuality, During Timeskip (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Engagement, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, No War AU, Oral Sex, Reunions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:42:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,310</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26063668</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FullmetalChords/pseuds/FullmetalChords, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mother_hearted/pseuds/mother_hearted</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Pegasi fly overhead, banners and colorful streamers whipping in the winds behind them. Even all the way at the town’s entrance, minstrels’ songs can still be heard, carried too, in the wind. Despite being two weeks into the month long Millennium Festival, the merriment from the town and monastery has shown no signs of slowing down.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>...And nothing has been more joyous than reuniting with Claude.</i>
</p>
<p>--<br/>A lifetime of responsibilities lie in wait but there's still time for honeymoon bliss. </p>
<p>Co-written between FullmetalChords and mother_hearted, and posted for day 8 of DimiclaudeBdayWeek!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Toki and Meg's Faerghus Husbands AU [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1881556</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the distance between us only breaths apart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Delivering the second to last part of this series! It's been a year since Claude (FullmetalChords) and Dimitri's (me) little midnight visit. </p>
<p>Please enjoy o/</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pegasi fly overhead, banners and colorful streamers whipping in the winds behind them. Even all the way at the town’s entrance, minstrels’ songs can still be heard, carried too, in the wind. Despite being two weeks into the month long Millennium Festival, the merriment from the town and monastery has shown no signs of slowing down. There is joy in delicious food, competitive sport and games, countless sermons and ceremonies, and mingling between the Empire, the Kingdom, and the Alliance. </p>
<p>Dimitri’s duties to his land never cease, and preparations for his crowning ceremony are underway even during present celebrations, but his time spent with his advisers and even friends from his academy days barely make up a fraction of Dimitri’s day. Nothing has been more joyous than reuniting with Claude. Tucked away in the cottage they rented just outside of town, they’ve fallen into their own world, cocooned in each other’s arms, enjoying honeymoon bliss while they can. </p>
<p>It’s not that he forgot the harsh world outside of Claude’s arms; rather, he underestimated how tender to touch his heart would become.</p>
<p>Making his way to his lodging after his advisory meeting, Dimitri tries to ignore the bruises left on his too soft heart. He made the announcement Claude would be returning to the kingdom with him at the festival’s end and the old men were not at such a loss they couldn’t throw hurtful words at him, a scene that hasn’t changed since he was a boy, demanding Dimitri think of his kingdom first. Demanding Dimitri change. </p>
<p>Lamenting things would be easier if Lambert had borne a daughter, and not a son.</p>
<p>
  <i>I do not answer to you!</i>
</p>
<p>His outburst rings in his ears and he scrubs at his face, hesitating on his doorstep before walking inside, looking for the man he already missed all afternoon. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Claude had settled in not too long ago, his day spent following up with representatives from House Gloucester as he finalized preparations for Lorenz to take over the Alliance seat. All too ready to join Dimitri in Fhirdiad, Claude has been able to enjoy the time away from his office to the fullest. Namely, by spending time with the man he has previously only been able to kiss, touch, and love through words alone in their letters. </p>
<p>That time is no more and Claude is smiling, unable to help himself when he hears Dimitri’s return. Gliding over to him, he pulls him down into a kiss. </p>
<p>“You’re back earlier than you said. Heh, those old fossils didn’t talk your ears off?”</p>
<p>“Everything is settled.”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Dimitri pulls him into another kiss. “Tell me about your day, love.”</p>
<p>Sensing Dimitri seems tired, Claude decides to move them along to their sitting room as he gives Dimitri a brief run down. How he ran into Raphael and Leonie, discussing bouts in the next melee competition, took tea with Edelgard - and they’ll need to have another house leader meet-up soon, just the three of them, for old time’s sake. He’s in the middle of detailing a visit with the merchant’s association when he notices Dimitri’s responses growing short and clipped.</p>
<p>“Dima.”</p>
<p>Dimitri looks up, startled.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“I know we’re trying to make the most of our time together but if you’re tired, go lie down. I’ll be here when you wake up.”</p>
<p>Dimitri frowns. “Are you frustrated with me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No?” Claude’s brow furrows. “I’m saying you look like you should go faceplant into our bed for an hour or two.”</p>
<p>“You’re sending me to bed like a child.”</p>
<p>Claude’s face twists up tight in confusion, ready to tell Dimitri if he’s going to be mulish and fussy Claude <i>might as well</i>... but despite how much they’ve grown and changed over the past five years, Claude is still familiar with this side of Dimitri, who picks and picks at a problem that isn’t there - to ignore the real one. </p>
<p>Before going their separate ways this morning, Claude had questioned Dimitri going alone to talk to a roomful of Kingdom noblemen about the two of them. He said everything was settled, and perhaps that’s true where Claude’s moving in is concerned but, </p>
<p>“Everything wasn’t fine with today’s meeting, was it? Please talk to me, Dima.”</p>
<p>The stubborn set of Dimitri’s jaw practically collapses, his good eye looking unbearably wounded. “I don’t…”</p>
<p>“It’s okay to admit they hurt you.”</p>
<p>Claude gets to his feet, walking over to stand beside Dimitri’s chair, hand finding his cheek. </p>
<p>“There’s no shame in telling me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And Dimitri didn’t intend to crack so easily, let his walls fall down so soon but Claude is here, in the flesh, and it’s a dream come true, to be able to see him, speak with him every day. His new normal. A part of him still can’t quite believe it. </p>
<p>Dimitri shakes his head but doesn’t shake off his hand, wraps his arms around himself and lets the bitter words hiding under his tongue spill out.</p>
<p>“They did not hurt me. This wound has always been here.” Always open, rubbed raw from salt and grit and curses. “Every time we speak, no matter what words they use, it is the same conversation. They will never change. They hoped our courtship would fade due to the distance. They prayed that with time spent under my uncle I would change, but I will never change.”</p>
<p>Angry tears prickle in the corner of his eyes and he can’t contain himself now that he’s started, “It does not matter how well I hold myself in court.” His hands make their way to his face, hiding his tears when they come in earnest. “All of my campaigns - they might as well not exist! All they think of is how I’ve failed them, how it would have been easier if I were Lambert’s daughter. If I cannot sire a child, I could bear one. They would pick my suitor and place me on the altar. They would -”</p>
<p>Dimitri's voice cracks, ugly and wet. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And Claude is - horrified. At the ugliness of Dimitri's words, at the way repeating them tears him apart. It's all he can do to fall to his knees before Dimitri's seat, hands running over his upper arms to try and comfort him, but... Dimitri is shattering. Being ripped to shreds by these hateful words that have found a place to live inside him. </p>
<p>"You don't mean that." He keeps his voice soft, knowing he's only barely keeping a lid on his rage. Not angry with Dimitri, but with the inflexible old men who have fed him fresh poison. If only Claude had gone with him…! "You have failed no one by being yourself, Dimitri. No one." And he is angry, angrier than he thought, when he continues, "They've failed you by refusing to accept who you are." </p>
<p>Dimitri is still shuddering, arms wrapped around himself, and Claude softly says, "Darling," before standing, wrapping him tight in his arms. "You being born a woman would make it easier for no one. No one." They would find other ways to discredit a hypothetical daughter of Lambert than the ones they've used for his son. Bigots and hateful people will always find a way to belittle and discredit those they disagree with.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It takes time before Dimitri's words can pass through his too tight throat. Desperately trying to hook himself onto Claude's words, how Dimitri can feel Claude fighting for him, even now while Dimitri struggles not to fall apart. "...I don't want to be a woman." He forces himself to speak. "They parrot the same lies to me, I know. <i>I know.</i>" </p>
<p>But to never be accepted as a man, no matter how strong he's grown, how tall he stands, how hard he works to prepare for his throne... it hurts. It has always hurt. And now, it hurts because he knows it will only hurt Claude. </p>
<p>"I want to marry you but how can I bring you back to such a hateful place...! I do not want you to suffer because of me." Claude has reassured Dimitri that he can live with him, despite Dimitri being unwell, and that he will always be unwell but this... This is poison outside their home that will easily leak within. </p>
<p>He does not uncover his face but he leans his head into Claude's chest, shaking all the while.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Claude is quiet while he keeps holding Dimitri. He knows there's nothing he can say to make this right, not really... But he takes his time to choose his words regardless. </p>
<p>"I've lived in places where people hate me before." He could say it lightly, take it as a joke so Dimitri could smile, but he doesn't. Still soft and serious. "If they hate me in Faerghus, it wouldn't be anything new... But I could bear it, because you would be there beside me." His fingers move in Dimitri's hair. "That's something I've never had before. Being with you, you fighting for me... me fighting for you... It makes all the difference." </p>
<p>"And I'll be beside you, too." He gently kisses the top of Dimitri's head. "I'll never let you fight them alone again." And then he smiles. "Of course, maybe we could just stay here. Live in this cabin forever, where no one will bother us for being who we are."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There is nothing quite so sobering as the truth. But it is because Claude is honest with him, Dimitri has never wavered no matter the distance between them. Their love may feel like it was written in storybook pages but he knows better than to think all their troubles will disappear simply because they are side by side, married... </p>
<p>It is knowing that Claude will be by his side, his strength when Dimitri falters - and knowing Dimitri will never hesitate to give him the same, that his heart can finally be soothed. On his exhale his arms drop and he blinks through teary eyes to properly look up at Claude. </p>
<p>"My joy... I will love you more and more each day, and I cannot wait." </p>
<p>And he'll find a smile, weak but genuine. "And I am not sure of your plan. I am waiting, ff, to see if I can still walk by the time you are done with me at the festival's end."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He chuckles at that. Still running a loving hand through Dimitri’s hair. “Seems like that’s up to you as much as me, hm?” </p>
<p>He knows they’ve been… insatiable, since their reunion at the millennium festival. Even more so after Claude’s formal proposal five days into their stay together. </p>
<p>When they were boys, still in school, they’d been courting by the time of the school’s White Heron Ball. He had been aware of the tradition involving the Goddess Tower to make a wish… but Claude had been too afraid to ask Dimitri to go with him, back then. It had been more than enough to dance in Dimitri’s arms that night, under the eyes of the school, declaring, in his quiet way, what they were to each other. </p>
<p>The festival had given them a second chance. They’d ascended the Goddess Tower together one night, Claude had made a wish with Dimitri like he wished he had five years earlier… and then he’d handed his beloved a ring. Making a wish together that would last a lifetime… and fulfilling the promise Claude had made during his secret trip to Faerghus last winter. Nearly a year ago to the day…</p>
<p>“I know it won’t be easy, I know there may be hearts we can never change, but…” He smiles down at Dimitri. “I hope, all the same, that there are more hearts that we can. And even still, no heart matters to me more than your own.” He touches Dimitri’s cheek gently. </p>
<p>“I hate that they can still do this to you,” he murmurs, noting the tears in his beloved’s eyes. It makes him all the more eager to move to Faerghus so he can fight for Dimitri, fight for <i>them</i>, by his side. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A darling flush, pink and commonplace, tickles Dimitri’s tear streaked face. Though they sent letter after letter to each other, it is still something of a new experience to be around Claude, receiving his touch, and hearing his words without having to imagine his tone or inflection. Dimitri finds himself overwhelmed by these small moments but he tucks them aside, to keep connecting with the man whom he can finally call <i>husband.</i> </p>
<p>“I have always had a propensity for weeping, you know that.” Of course, it is only with Claude that Dimitri finds himself able to act on it. No judgement or shame to hold himself back. “It is… No, it will not be easy. There are still many things I am unsure of. With our marriage...” He sniffles, finally wiping at his face. “My coronation will approach soon after. I am as ready as I can be but…”</p>
<p>His doubts to perform his duties for his kingdom, to lead them to a more prosperous and peaceful future… Any man with sense would feel humbled in face of them but they do not deter him, they do not scare him. A challenge he was bred to face, he welcomes it. It is seeing who he will become once he’s king that… frightens him. </p>
<p>“When I look at my father’s portrait, he is not the man I remember. His expression is cold, steeled. Will that be the face I come to wear? Of my own choosing or… as a matter of consequence.”</p>
<p>He looks down at his knees, thinking quietly of the man he’s been groomed to be and the man he actually is. When he looks back up at Claude, scars and all, he looks so young. </p>
<p>“Though it brings me tears, I… I do not want to lose my heart.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Claude’s heart aches with love as he looks down at him. Face to face with the boy he’s loved for years, his expression no longer something he imagines, but something real and seated before him. He’d known, before their reunion, that he would never be able to part from Dimitri again, once they’d been reunited. Would never be able to spend a moment without looking at this man, always so beautiful, never able to keep every hurt from showing on his face.</p>
<p>“I don’t want you to lose it, either.” Cupping Dimitri’s face in both hands, something so precious to him. “I know they call your tears a weakness. A softness. It’s that exact thing that makes your heart fit to rule. You feel things so deeply, and that’s one of your greatest strengths.” He leans down to kiss his forehead. “A strong heart, to go with your strong body.”</p>
<p>Through fate, sadly, Claude will never be able to know what sort of man Lambert Blaiddyd was. To know if he is worthy of the way he has been lionized in his son’s mind. </p>
<p>“I can’t tell you if you’ll live up to your father’s legacy or not,” he says, simply being honest, the way Dimitri always needs him to be. “But I know you’ll always fight to be the best king you can be.” Runs his thumb along one damp cheekbone. “And I know I’ll always be there, helping you be the king Faerghus deserves.” Claude grins. </p>
<p>“I’m devoting my life to it, after all.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Claude's palms are pleasantly cool against his hot cheeks. They soothe him as much as his words. The answers to his fears can only be found during his reign and not delivered a moment sooner, but knowing his heart is precious to him, that Claude loves him for these same qualities… </p>
<p>"There will be no greater boon in my life than you, beloved." He turns his face to kiss the inside of his wrist. "Truly… Even while we were apart, you gave me the strength to come into my own." He has already decided what type of ruler he will be, where his father's rule lacked, held up against Dimitri's own beliefs. He could not do that without accepting himself. Without Claude… his life would look very different at this age.</p>
<p>It is too painful to imagine, the dismal reality he tried to brace himself for when he was a boy. Passively accepting his kingdom's orders, lacking the bravery to challenge them…</p>
<p>This is not that reality. Dimitri wraps his arms around Claude's waist and sighs, overwhelmed again by how solid and warm he is. "Your support means the world to me but you must live for yourself too. Whatever ambition you bring to our kingdom I will wholeheartedly support. I want our partnership to be an equal one."</p>
<p>Faerghus will not know what hit it - and Dimitri is so, so excited.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I wouldn't expect anything less." He smiles down at Dimitri, not downplaying what he's saying to him. "I have no intention of only supporting you from the shadows. Whatever I do as prince-consort - or whatever title you see fit to give me - will be something I want to do, that benefits the whole nation."</p>
<p>In what little spare time he has found these past many months - even before making his promise to Dimitri - Claude has been looking into the history of Faerghan queens (always queens, as far as the line goes back, having to read between the lines for even the barest hint of a male concubine). Claude badly wants to understand the expectations of his future station, even if the name "queen" is one he will not bear, not even in jest. </p>
<p>But history has been frustratingly silent about these women. Overwhelmingly, whenever they are discussed, it is only in regards to who they married, or how many children they birthed. What were these women's lives like day to day, he wonders? How did they live their lives, knowing they would only ever be a footnote to their husbands?</p>
<p>No. Claude will never live that life. </p>
<p>"I thought about focusing on foreign relations," he muses. "Opening up more diplomatic relationships with Sreng, with Almyra…" He catches Dimitri's eye meaningfully. "With Duscur, too." A conquered territory still suffering for crimes it had never committed. Dimitri and Dedue have spoken often, he knows, of restoring Duscur's sovereignty. </p>
<p>He hopes they will allow him to help, too. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>There’s no surprise to be had when Claude offers his ideas. Dimitri is aware of Claude’s education and experience with foreign relations, having already contacted several foreign parties during his time in the Alliance. Regardless of circumstances, the fact remains Claude is the more well traveled of the two - and in Dimitri’s opinion, the more balanced of the two when it comes to discussing policy. </p>
<p>His dreams of brokering peace go beyond dreams. Dimitri seeks to shift the insular culture of his Kingdom, to bring back the dignity and autonomy of the Duscur people who have been wrongfully hated and smeared. He cannot do it alone and not with his current skill set. </p>
<p>“I have readied space for you in the castle for such work,” Dimitri admits. “We can expand it, if you think it is not big enough once you see it. I can think of no better position that would suit you. After the tragedy... “ He sighs. “Any attempts at contacting lands beyond our borders have fallen to the wayside and my uncle has been unwilling to stir the pot.”</p>
<p>Dimitri looks up, tears dried and eyes steely and determined.</p>
<p>“I wish to stir the pot vigorously.”</p>
<p>His heart is for his people but it is also for all people his Kingdom has done wrong to, and he cannot allow this cycle to continue.</p>
<p>“We have much to discuss but I am happy to know we are already of the same mind.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Claude's grin widens. Unspeakably proud of the man who will be his husband, with whom Claude will spend his life working to build the world they both deserved as children.</p>
<p>"You'll get a lot of pushback if you keep stirring the pot," he points out. "It's a good thing, of course. Just be prepared for if they start kicking into high gear with their...opposition once you take the throne." </p>
<p>He leans into Dimitri's embrace. Letting their foreheads rest together.</p>
<p>"And don't forget, many will love you for what you do. All the changes you'll make to help people." He smiles. "I already do."</p>
<p> </p>
<p><i>They’ve already started</i>, Dimitri thinks but does not say. Instead nods in understanding, expecting nothing to be easy the moment he sits for his first day of court, introduces his first change of policy, dares to show public support for the ideals he believes in. He will have many enemies… but in his heart he knows it will be worth it to bring safety and security to the people under his rule.</p>
<p>“You are biased,” Dimitri says with a smile, looking under blond lashes at him.</p>
<p>He is not king yet and though tragedy has aged him, he is still a young man wrapped in the arms of his beloved. He rubs his cheek against Claude’s belly with a happy sigh.</p>
<p>“It still feels like a dream to be with you like this, knowing we won’t have to part from one another.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I know what you mean." Not a mere dream that young Khalid used to have, as unreachable and unattainable as the stars themselves, no.</p>
<p>Claude's dream is here before him, nuzzling his belly, with hair that feels soft under his fingertips. He cannot help but let out a content little sigh, pulling him close.</p>
<p>"I love you so much, Dimitri." A truth that sits in their rooms, repeated every time they touch one another. "I still can't believe I get to spend my life with you." Biased he may be, his vision colored by his love for the man who will be his king, but no less logical for it. It will not prevent him from calling out Dimitri when he needs it, from pushing him when he needs to be pushed. </p>
<p>He sighs again. "I can't wait for us to get started." He smiles down at Dimitri, still carding through his hair. "Are you feeling any better?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They have shared a future together for some time but this… this is tangible, powerful, knowing their love has done more than endured, it has flourished. There is no better partner than Claude, whose kindness cradles Dimitri when he is wounded but pushes him when he has dug his heels in too deep. Even the truly passionate arguments that await them are something he looks forward to.</p>
<p>“I am. Your love has helped cool me. I love you so much,” he repeats, squeezing him tightly. “I didn’t mean to hide from you. I… I did not want it to bother me.” It is not the first time such things have been said to him but it is a mighty blow to be dealt when he is feeling so happy. Joy is still hard to come by but now his biggest joy is right here in his arms.</p>
<p>“My Claude… I have cried over them and you have given me your ear. I am ready to put those words to rest.”</p>
<p>And he leans back, to indulge in a way he is learning to.</p>
<p>“Would you slip my ring onto my finger again?”</p>
<p>He can’t wear it in public, their engagement will likely never be formally announced, so Dimitri has taken it to wearing it in their cabin, glowing with love whenever he looks at his hand. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He can’t help the way he glows at the request. Dimitri wanting a visible reminder of their love, just as much as Claude wants it. </p>
<p>“You know it’d be my honor.” Already, Claude is reaching for Dimitri’s throat, seeking the chain around his neck where he keeps the ring. Out of sight, but always close by… Dimitri bows his head before Claude can ask him to, allowing him to slip the chain off over his head and retrieve the ring…</p>
<p>Claude has had this ring with him for months. A simple gold band, nothing too ostentatious, but both their crests are engraved inside, along with simple words that are meaningful to both of them. He’d carried it always as soon as the jeweler had completed his request, but it had never been as special, as important, as it was the moment Claude had slipped it on his beloved’s finger.</p>
<p>He gets to one knee before him, ready to do it all over again.</p>
<p>“My love,” he says, his tone full of devotion, before slipping the ring back onto Dimitri’s left hand, where it belongs. He has a good look at it, letting the sight burn into his mind, before leaning up, touching Dimitri’s face as he leans in for a soft kiss. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ah. Ahhhhh.</p>
<p>Heat creeps back onto Dimitri’s face when Claude takes a knee. He knows just how to make him swoon. All too easily he’s brought back to the night at the goddess tower, revisiting a missing scene from their youth. He accepts Claude’s kiss with his hand holding the back of Claude’s neck, letting the cold band of his ring warm up against Claude’s skin.</p>
<p>He yearns to wear it openly, to feel its weight on his skin, but wearing it around his neck under his clothes is not a bad compromise. His beautiful ring engraved with sweet, sappy words: <i>my puzzle piece</i>. He kisses Claude slowly, taking time to properly feel the shape of his lips, time running syrup slow around them. </p>
<p>Secretly, he spares a thought to his trunk, the package hidden under his clothes, containing the earring he’ll present to Claude in a week’s time. Though giddy to give him the same proposal, he knows the wait will be worth it.</p>
<p>For now, he rumbles low and warm from his chest. </p>
<p>Goddess, he can’t get enough of his kisses…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He sighs into Dimitri’s kiss. So content to be near him, to enjoy his kisses and sweet caresses. To see his ring on Dimitri’s finger and know that Dimitri is his, forever. That no matter how hard anyone tries, they will never be able to bring them apart again. </p>
<p>“You should start wearing that when we go back to Faerghus,” he rumbles when they break apart for air, getting slowly to his feet. “Remind everyone of who you belong to.”</p>
<p>And Claude crawls into Dimitri’s lap, knees fitting around his hips as he bends down, kissing him slow and sinful once again. The armchair is a narrow fit for them both, but he can’t deny enjoying the warmth of Dimitri’s chest against his, the strength of his legs beneath him while they savor one another. </p>
<p>“They want to look away from this. From me.” Claude smirks. “Let’s not give them the chance to.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dimitri groans, eager to feel Claude clamber on top of him. “Yes.” He presses a hot kiss to Claude’s throat. Ugh. “I love when you talk like that.” So commanding and confident in his own way, melting through Dimitri’s defenses. “Everyone will know we belong to each other.”</p>
<p>His hands rub up and down Claude’s back, catching his backside and hip. Dimitri hasn’t had nearly enough time to truly appreciate all the new ways they fit together, and is already spellbound by the way his beloved’s body has grown strong. He will always be smaller than Dimitri but his legs have gotten strong from wyvern riding and his arms… Even in school Dimitri had admired them, and his skills are still sharp, having shown off in an archery competition the day prior. The festival has been a host of many activities and Dimitri is due to enter his own challenge soon.</p>
<p>“Mm, I will never look away from you. Everything about you, dearest, it thrills me.”</p>
<p>Kiss. Kiss. <i>Groan</i>. His hands find the back of his head and neck to kiss him deeper.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ah…” He can’t help the way the tips of his ears grow hot at Dimitri’s beautiful words. He’s gotten so used to reading them in their letters, but hearing them said aloud… it’s much more potent, hearing the way Dimitri’s voice dips so low on endearments. Feeling the way every sentiment is echoed by Dimitri’s hands, touching every part of him. </p>
<p>“Dimitri, nn…” He nips at his lower lip. He’d gotten better at talking, at using his words, during their five years apart, when words in their letters were practically all they had to show their love for one another. Even so, “I’m not all talk, darling. You know that.”</p>
<p>His lips part to welcome Dimitri’s tongue into his mouth, using his own tongue to stroke over the organ, so slow.</p>
<p>“Mmm…” He groans, gripping a handful of Dimitri’s shirt to keep him pulled close. “Keep kissing me. We have five years to make up for.” They could spend the rest of the festival locked away in this cabin, finding every possible way they fit together, and still never fully make up for all the time they lost. At least Claude will never have to endure such a long separation again. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Claude von Riegan <i>was</i> a man with a crafty tongue but he was far from having idle hands. Dimitri gets to reap the most pleasurable consequences of this, moaning low when Claude deepens their kisses. </p>
<p>His fingers already itch to push up his shirt and feel his skin, the muscles of his back. How he trembles in response to Dimitri, so hungry and warm in his lap, never letting Dimitri doubt for a second he hasn’t been waiting for this moment the same as him. They’ve begun enjoying each other since their first night in this cabin and they’ve done other things, taken meals and joined festivities and talked for hours…</p>
<p>But they only had letters to show and make love through, save for that one secret night in Dimitri’s room, and it feels like his appetite won’t be sated until they catch up on every missed night, grown and far more experienced than they were back in school. </p>
<p>Dimitri expected this, had practically prepared for it, taking himself every night the week leading up to the festival. Is it wrong to feel so weak for the man he dreamed of? Night after night, at random hours of the day. Sending tokens of affection and salacious letters that made Dimitri late to morning meetings. </p>
<p>And now he’s wearing Claude’s ring and Dimitri could not crave him more, showing it with every kiss heating up between them. Large palms keeping Claude close. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dima…” Arms draped over his shoulders, fingers tangled in his hair. Every time one of them breathes, his chest pushes into the other’s. Like they share one set of lungs, one heart. </p>
<p>Months and years of letters have whetted his appetite, every hour spent together on the festival grounds only making it clearer to him how firmly they belong together. Claude’s mind wanders to Dimitri when he is not close by, his hand craving to be held by his lion as they walk together. He drinks his fill of kisses, feels every inch of Dimitri’s flesh when they are in bed together --</p>
<p>--And it still feels like it could never be enough. Even now, squeezed in this chair with him, it isn’t enough. </p>
<p>“Dima,” he says again, a little whimper in his mouth. “Mmm…” His eyes meet his, feeling a little off kilter and desperate. “Take me to bed?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Without a moment’s hesitation Dimitri stands, lifting Claude like he weighs nothing, and when Claude wraps his legs around Dimitri, the laugh he lets out is low and - hungry. Kisses his mouth while he walks them to bed, lost in his trance to do as he’s been asked, keeping them glued together, enjoying the way Claude clings and whines at him.</p>
<p>With how Claude clings Dimitri couldn’t drop him even if he wanted to, so instead he falls to his side and rolls on top of Claude. Continues to kiss him well and good, until his brain makes him antsy, still getting used to being on holiday, away from his usual schedule. </p>
<p>“Claude,” he breathes hotly on his lips. “What shall we do?” Not being coy but seeking direction, eager for any touch, any way Claude wants to make love. In some small part afraid he will wake up alone in his bed, Claude all the way back in the Alliance, and Dimitri missing him fiercely. </p>
<p>“Already,” he murmurs, “You are all I can see, all I can think of.”</p>
<p>Feel. Smell. Every night their bedroom has reeked of them, their sex in the air. </p>
<p>“I am dumb with it,” he rumbles, teasing himself, good eye dark with arousal. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gods. Saints and spirits. Dimitri floods his vision, hovering over him while his hair hangs down like a curtain, blocking out everything else. His weight keeping Claude secure and pressed against the mattress… The thought of this had scared him, years ago, the first few times they’d kissed, when he’d still thought he needed to get away from Dimitri. </p>
<p>Now, he cannot imagine possibly wanting anything less. </p>
<p>“Mm,” he says, feeling sluggish and inarticulate, only feeling the heat of Dimitri’s body and how his own responds to it, rubbing against Dimitri’s thigh and growing stiffer. Then he laughs. “I can’t decide,” he chuckles. “Too many good options…” He wants to try everything with him. Everything. Wants to slip back inside Dimitri’s body, or feel Dimitri pound into him. To lick over every inch of Dimitri’s body, learn every scar, every freckle. To make each of his letters become reality, fulfill every promise he’s ever penned. </p>
<p>He cups the back of Dimitri’s neck, stroking the soft skin there. </p>
<p>“I’ll be happy with anything you want to do,” he says. “But what do you say we try to suck each other off?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oh. </p>
<p>The noise he makes is mortifyingly horny, a groan from his gut and Claude grins wide at him. “Yes,” he says quickly, to cut Claude off from asking him again, in surely sweet teasing tones. He loves to suck him and hold him in his mouth, though he tends to shy away from the same attention, still struggling to feel comfortable with the knowledge Claude finds him so desirable. </p>
<p>Servicing each other at the same time… That could work. Claude is clever and Dimitri decides there’s no reason to hide his eagerness and pushes his hands under his shirt, happy to feel the warm skin and soft hair underneath. </p>
<p>“I think it is very much worth a try.”</p>
<p>He chuckles at himself. “We’ll have to try more than once.” Playfulness bolstered by Claude’s warmth. “I think our first attempt will go by quickly.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You mean I might have to blow you more than once tonight?” Claude can’t help the way he laughs, young and free. “Work, work, work…”</p>
<p>He grins, knowing Dimitri knows he doesn’t mean any of it. It’s part of the fun of their being together, being able to joke, to laugh, to not always be so serious with one another. Their feelings for one another are serious, but their attitudes with one another need not always be so. </p>
<p>He wriggles, wanting to feel more of Dimitri’s hands over his bare skin, just as his own hands find their way to Dimitri’s waist. </p>
<p>“I’m ready to try if you are.” His eyes sparkle as he looks at Dimitri. “Shall we strip each other, my love?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dimitri can only grin, feeling young and foolish in a way he so rarely feels allowed to, answering Claude’s siliness with his own, tugging the shirt off of him and mussing up his hair. He lets Claude take his top off as well, comfortable enough in the dim light of their candles. There was only one night he felt insecure, naked under Claude’s gaze, and Claude suggested he slip into bed first, allowing them to make love under the covers, intimate and sweet and reassuring Dimitri he was not a bother, now with how Claude groaned against him, as eager for Dimitri as ever. </p>
<p>Today was a test of his patience and though his heart was badly wounded, he feels… cleansed after talking with Claude. Now Claude is grinning, saying silly sultry words to him as his fingers dance over Dimitri’s skin and he badly wants their pants off. </p>
<p>He pushes Claude over, still grinning at his mock outrage while he undoes his fly, making it easy to slide his pants and undergarments off of him in one sweep. His “victory” is short-lived when Claude does the same to him, leaving Dimitri happily winded on his back while he sets to his waistband. </p>
<p>“Ah… Careful, I am already -”</p>
<p>Half hard, easy and needy like nothing has changed. </p>
<p>Sweet eager Dimitri. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You are, aren’t you,” he purrs, being careful while he loosens the laces of Dimitri’s trousers. He shuffles Dimitri’s trousers down his hips, excited to see him already hard, his cock falling into Claude’s hand once his pants are around his knees. “Mmmm.” His mouth is already watering at the sight of Dimitri, hard for him after only a few kisses and sugared words, blush traveling down his chest. </p>
<p>Let this part never change. </p>
<p>He’s dutiful enough to help Dimitri kick his pants all the way off, but he still army-crawls his way back to Dimitri’s stomach, already laying his lips on the hot flesh with a groan. Feeling like he’s been deprived of time with his beloved, even though they spent all morning together - and, of course, already feasted on each other the night before. He wonders if this will fade with time, if he will one day be able to lie beside Dimitri without immediately wanting to ravish him. </p>
<p>“I wonder if you still taste the same from when we were in school,” he muses, looking up to catch Dimitri’s eye with a fiendish grin. “Do you mind if I check?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dimitri sucks in a quick breath, eyes widening. "Sneak," he gets out in a rasp, transfixed where he lays on his back, settled on his elbows to take in the view of Claude, devilishly threatening to devour Dimitri. His cock betrays him, twitching and narrowly grazing his cheek. </p>
<p>He can't very well say no, not just him, when he'd helped himself to Claude on his tongue the other night first.</p>
<p>"Just a taste." Before they're back on even ground. His mouth already waters for Claude, the new experience of them sucking each other at the same time. Naked in front of Claude again, his entire body warms up, lower belly tingling. </p>
<p>Not as nervous like their first night together, when he'd disrobed in front of Claude all over again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Claude’s smile is warm as he looks up at Dimitri, the needy way he looks down at him. “Only a taste,” he promises before moving down, his beloved’s erection level with his mouth. Already, the first few beads of precome are appearing, betraying Dimitri’s need for him, and he looks up at his - </p>
<p>- his fiance -</p>
<p>- and gives him a sweet, reassuring smile before taking him in hand, pressing a warm kiss to the head. Claude’s tongue darts out to lap at the slit, taste the precome, and groans in spite of himself, overwhelmed by the headiness of his musk. He knows he will get to enjoy this and more when he and Dimitri start to suck each other properly, but…</p>
<p>Well, he wants to enjoy this. It’s so, so rare that he’s been able to enjoy the experience of giving oral to his partner: he can fit the number of times they tried in school on one hand, and Dimitri had stopped him halfway through an attempt here at the festival, suggesting they move to other activities instead. And so Claude wants to savor this experience now, before he has Dimitri’s mouth distracting him, giving himself over to Dimitri’s pleasure and pampering him, just for a moment. </p>
<p>“I won’t be long,” he murmurs, moving down to nuzzle and kiss his length. “I just wanted a moment or two to spoil you properly, after today.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You already ha-aaaave… Oh. Aaah.”</p>
<p>Dimitri is sensitive and with how quickly he loses his composure just from Claude’s kitten licks - he does not want to be left quivering so early on. He’s wet too, weeping for Claude the second time tonight but this time his eyes stay dry. Claude - licks him. Like a treat and Dimitri slaps a hand over his mouth to hide his mewl. </p>
<p>In school, as far as he can remember, he only let Claude suckle on him three times. He remembers each time and how impossibly small it had made him feel. Amazing but so much, too much. That feeling hasn’t changed, and Dimitri groans when Claude, sneaky and wicked and wonderful, follows Dimitri’s instructions, never sucking him into his mouth but lapping at his slit, kissing along the hot glands of his head. </p>
<p>When he was younger, he was reckless, quick to warn Claude before flipping him over, sucking him down first so he would not feel so vulnerable on his own. (Sometimes the voice that tells him he is ugly, undeserving of such attention rubs him raw and he doesn’t want his appetite to be affected.)</p>
<p>“Claude, you’ve had, mm - more than enough moments.”</p>
<p>Fair is fair, the hand gripping Claude’s shoulder says. Cock and blush betraying him, how badly he needs Claude but needing and wanting him on his own terms. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Claude blushes at his own neediness, would happily keep nibbling and teasing at him, but Dimitri is right; enough is enough, and he’ll be back where he is soon enough anyway. </p>
<p>“Sorry, dearheart.” He loosens his grip on Dimitri’s cock, pulling his face away. He can see Dimitri’s face better, heard the little noises he made, halfway between bliss and distress. Red rimmed around his beautiful eyes, though still clearly with him and aroused. And he’s too familiar with how weepy Dimitri has been getting during sex… more so than he’d been back in school, even. </p>
<p>“Dima,” he says, and makes a little face, knowing he might well flub what he wants to convey right now, but. “It’s all right if you feel the need to cry while we make love. I know…” He makes another face at himself, at his clumsy words, and crawls back up so his face is beside Dimitri’s. </p>
<p>“It’s that tender heart of yours.” He smiles fondly. “I know that you feel things deeply when we’re together. I know you have other ways of showing me that you - don’t feel good, if we try something you don’t like. Please don’t feel like you need to hide your tears from me, tonight or any night.” He tucks a stray lock of hair behind Dimitri’s ear. “I know, when we make love, it’s your way of showing how much you love me. How good you feel when we’re together.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tellingly, Dimitri blinks and three little tears escape, quickly rolling down his cheek and making his face burst red. He resists the urge to hide himself, to apologize. He has cried in bed plenty before, had wept heavily a year ago when Claude appeared in his room, to pretend to steal him away like the rogue he wrote about. In this bedroom, his tears have already stained his pillowcase, Claude’s skin. </p>
<p>He is so grateful that Claude feels… flattered by them and not bothered by Dimitri’s habit. His body has grown but it hasn’t caught up to his feelings, feelings too big for him to keep under wraps. Pleasure is still tricky, sometimes frightening now that he finally has what and who he wants.</p>
<p>“I will,” he clears his throat. “I will do my best.”</p>
<p>His smile borders on shy. </p>
<p>“You treat me well. It is… a lot to handle.”</p>
<p>And he pulls Claude in for a kiss, lapping at his tongue to pretend, acting like he can steal his own taste. “What say we work together now?” He tries to tease, strength coming back to his voice. “Will you crawl on top of me or shall we try from our sides?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><i>You treat me well…</i> Claude flushes at the compliment, growing hot all over. He remembers a time, not so long ago, when he’d doubted his ability to do right by Dimitri. To live up to all of Dimitri’s loving words and affection. To be the lover he deserves. Really, to be the sort of lover that anyone would want. </p>
<p>Those days are long over now, and Claude gives Dimitri a patient smile as he dries the tears at the corners of his eyes. “I know.” He grins, wanting to bring them back to a more joking place for the moment. “I’ll treat you less well, if only you ask.” They both know he never will: Dimitri would never ask such a thing, and Claude would never be able to deliver even if he did. </p>
<p>He gives Dimitri another quick kiss before considering his last request. </p>
<p>“Mm… maybe on our sides?” He’s already twisting, swinging his feet around to be nearer Dimitri’s head. “I’m worried that, ah, my knees might buckle and I could suffocate you, if I’m on top.” That had never happened in any of Nader’s or Dimitri’s erotic books… but there’s always a first time!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Suffocate me…”</p>
<p>Well, it’s not out of the realm of possibility. And Dimitri certainly has no arguments when Claude starts to settle himself. His hand finds the top of his thigh when he rolls onto his side, planting a foot up to give Claude room. He curls into a C-shape to account for his height and it brings him exactly where he wants, face to face with Claude’s erection. Already wet at the tip, begging to be sucked clean…</p>
<p>“This works for me.” And he can’t help but tease, kissing the base of Claude’s cock. Humming happily. “I want to eat you now, love. You’ve left me so voracious after your attentions.”</p>
<p>He meets Claude’s eyes from the other end of their bed and licks his lips.</p>
<p>“If I get too rowdy, pull back.”</p>
<p>Though they both try to stay still, pleasure gets the best of them. And they are still learning together, how to make love with their mouths. </p>
<p>Unable to wait any longer, murmuring Claude’s name he wraps a hand around him and starts to lap up his shaft. Drawing a line until he reaches the head and, “Ohhhh.” He groans, finally allowed to lick and suck him, lips passing over the head. Already missing it despite having done so last night. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A bitten-off swear escapes his lips the moment he feels Dimitri's mouth on him. Still so new to him, even while Dimitri has made it clear, since their reunion, that pleasuring Claude with his mouth is one of his favorite activities in bed. And Claude can still remember the very first time Dimitri had taken him in his mouth, how he'd rushed, been greedy, how Claude had come within seconds from the newness and shock of it all. </p>
<p>They have both grown, both learned. And at any rate, Claude has much more important tasks to attend to, now that Dimitri's cock is within his reach again. </p>
<p>He leans forward to press his lips to the head, like before, only pressing forward slowly to take the head into his mouth. One hand finds its way to Dimitri's hip, to steady him, while the other gently strokes his inner thigh.</p>
<p>Gods, it's… a lot. So much. Claude wants to keep his whole focus on Dimitri, making him feel good, but it's impossible when half his brain is focused on what Dimitri is doing between his own legs, how well Dimitri is taking care of him. "Mm- mmmmm," he groans, wordless and blissed, his mouth full of Dimitri, his hands full of Dimitri. </p>
<p>His heart full of Dimitri.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There aren’t adequate words in Fodlan’s tongue to describe how deeply satisfied Dimitri sounds, moaning around Claude’s cock, taking him down another inch once his jaw begins to loosen up. Having him wrapped around Dimitri at the same time gets his toes curling and pulling at their sheets, every possible cue his body could give to show his enthusiasm is present and accounted for. </p>
<p>Despite feeling Claude’s mouth on him moments ago, this feels dramatically different. Better, not feeling lost on his back, better because he is an active participant. And better still, because very little pleasure compares to this act. He was made to serve, down to the marrow of his bones, and his noises are wet and happy when he brings his attention back to Claude. </p>
<p>He adores him, loves how this act is all about spoiling him and he’s a hypocrite to fuss when Claude wishes to do the same for him… but this is a wonderful compromise. All they can see and feel is each other, slowly weeping into each other’s mouths. </p>
<p>Dimitri’s tongue gives plenty of intentional licks, envious of Claude’s ability to taste but he’s used to pretending. He really is Claude’s stubborn lion. Enjoying himself yet diverting all his attention to sucking Claude deeper. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fuck. <i>Fuck.</i> Dimitri is really too good at this, knowing just where to lick Claude, how hard he likes to be sucked. Wet noises escaping him as he takes Claude deeper, deeper. Claude groans, cupping the back of Dimitri’s head, unable to help the way his hips move as he seeks out more of that wet heat…</p>
<p>Gods. No. He needs to focus. He can’t let Dimitri do all the work here, not receive just as much pleasure as he’s getting back, and so Claude focuses on taking him just a little deeper, one inch, another, knowing his tongue is sloppy, knowing he doesn’t have nearly as much practice as Dimitri does… but he at least makes to want Dimitri lose some of his composure. The way he seems to sink deeper into pleasure simply from the act of serving Claude. He loves Dimitri deeply, knows how much he loves service, but he deserves to be serviced just as thoroughly. </p>
<p>And so Claude tries. He tries to keep himself focused, uses his tongue to give long strokes to the underside of his beloved’s cock. Inhales the musky scent of his arousal, tastes that same arousal slowly dripping onto his tongue, filling his mouth. Wondering if he can make a dent in Dimitri’s stubbornness, just as he undoes Claude’s own. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“M-Mmmph…!”</p>
<p>Dimitri’s hips stutter, wanting to rock forward into the wet heat of his fiance’s mouth. Claude has never taken him so deeply before… and Dimitri squirms, concentration momentarily lost. Tries to fall back on old habits, denying himself, not to punish but to prevent his cock from plunging into Claude’s throat. </p>
<p>He doesn’t want to choke him and when Claude’s fingers dig into the back of his skull, the gears in his head cycle rapidly to his next impulse, thinking of how perfect it is to be held in place with his mouth so, so full. And maybe, just maybe, it can be fuller. Dimitri settles back into bobbing his head, sucking and licking, and remembers the nights he challenged himself in other ways with his glass cock. </p>
<p>It was not as enjoyable as fucking himself but when the mood hit, he would suck it, see how much he could take, and the fantasy alone one night lead him to filling his throat. </p>
<p>Emboldened by the shallow way Claude fucks his mouth, the positively dirty strokes of his tongue around Dimitri’s crown, Dimitri takes him and takes him and relaxes his throat until his nose is pressed against his pubis, tickled by his hair. </p>
<p>“....!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“--Ah…!”</p>
<p>He cries aloud around Dimitri’s cock as he feels his… gods, Dimitri’s swallowed him all the way down, his head tickling the back of his beloved’s throat, and it’s all Claude can do not to scream. </p>
<p>“Dima,” he has to pull off, he’s so fucking red, has to warn Dimitri, has to-- “Dima, I’m close, so close, how did you…?”</p>
<p>When the fuck did he learn how to do that?</p>
<p>Any thought of sucking Dimitri is lost when Dimitri is taking him down so well, breathing so deeply as his nose nudges Claude’s stomach. It’s all Claude can do to not tighten his grip on the back of Dimitri’s head, thrust until he finds release - but he keeps his hips still, afraid of choking Dimitri. He grits his teeth, only able to keep control of when he comes, at this point. </p>
<p>“Please, oh, please…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He’s both relieved and disappointed when Claude slips off his cock, begging him with a hoarse voice he’s never heard from him before. Claude’s flesh and blood cock is very different from his glass one, attached to a man who will shoot right down Dimitri’s throat and as hot as that is, Dimitri doesn’t think he’s quite ready for that.</p>
<p>Dimitri swallows around Claude again, to hear him wail from the clutch of his throat, but then he palms over his hip and rolls him onto his back, follows and manages to keep his cock in his mouth. </p>
<p>“Mmm, kl -” Groaning Claude’s name, nothing but noise around his cock, Dimitri pulls back to suck on his head hard, hair in his face, ears bright red. </p>
<p><i>Go on</i>, he’s telling him with how he moves, intent on squeezing every bit of his seed out of him. Greedy for it, just as stubborn as he always is. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ah, ah!” Claude is breathing hard, hot, over Dimitri’s hip. His eager fiance kneeling over him now, having pushed Claude onto his back, and Claude puts both hands on either side of Dimitri’s head, not to force him where he wants him, but simply to have something to hold onto. </p>
<p>“Dima,” he wails, squirming under his attentions, Dimitri filling every single one of his senses, “Dima, oh…!”</p>
<p>It’s explosive when he comes, spilling into Dimitri with an eagerness he’s barely known, still holding tight to him. Not wanting to let him go, wanting to imprint this experience firmly into his mind, to tie it to Dimitri in all his stubbornness, his competitiveness, his fierce love for Claude. </p>
<p>He’s gone for a few moments, too blissed out to move or to speak. When he finally finds his words again, he turns his face toward Dimitri’s thigh as they bracket his head, kissing him there once or twice before he murmurs, “You cheated.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Try as he might, he’s not prepared for the obscene amount of come that floods his mouth. He coughs, some of it spilling down his chin while he tries to swallow the rest. Coughing again when some of it burns behind his nose. But even with the mess, the slight burn to his throat, he can’t help laughing when he falls back to his side, cheek pressed against Claude’s warm thigh. </p>
<p>He wipes at his face with the untucked corner of their sheet. “How did I cheat?” he asks in a low tone, playful and giddy at how… devastated Claude looks. Cock twitching too from the little kisses pressed to his inner thighs. Hnn. “All I did was suck you…”</p>
<p>Mmm… Just has to nuzzle Claude’s thigh, enjoying his own high after getting Claude off. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“All you did?” he repeats, looking at him incredulously before he laughs. “That’s what you call deep-throating me? No idea how you got so good at that…”</p>
<p>Still, he’s smiling, petting Dimitri’s hair, not needing an answer. Purely content, feeling warm and muzzy, distracted for the moment from returning the favor. Still remembering how Dimitri had looked, the lower part of his face coated in Claude’s seed…</p>
<p>“Is it my turn yet?” His smile is warm, full of love, as he looks down between his legs at Dimitri. “How can I delight you, dearest?” How can he ever live up to what Dimitri’s just done for him? He doesn’t care that he was the first to come, knowing that Dimitri is so often the one to lose control first, but it still irks his competitive side to have been so easily undone. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Anyway you like.” </p>
<p>He’s so worked up, he doesn’t have the means to be fussy but Claude looks at him lovingly, <i>expectantly,</i> and Dimitri blushes, seeing he’s not going to get away with leaving it in his hands. It shouldn’t be so hard to ask, considering how intent Claude has been to… pamper him all night. </p>
<p>It’s a few moments of turning the words over and over in his head before he asks them, petting Claude’s hip to steady himself. </p>
<p>“I’d like to finish in your mouth.” He parts his thighs wider when he says, “Please.” </p>
<p>And when he’s close to feeling too vulnerable he smiles, trying to bring a sense of play back to their night. “And then maybe I’ll tell you a secret about my… proficiency.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh,” he breathes with a grin, feeling that spark light up between them again. “Yes… you’ll have to let me know all about your secret training regimen.” Claude would never entertain the idea that Dimitri has been practicing with anyone other than Claude, but, well, he<i> has</i> to be doing something on his own! If only Claude could work out what…</p>
<p>Setting it aside for the moment, he runs his hands along Dimitri’s inner thighs, feeling how they part for him. So strong, and yet such putty in his hands… Claude grins before taking Dimitri back into his mouth, all thought of teasing him gone for now. He takes him down two inches, three, bobbing his head just a little while his hand works Dimitri’s base, pumping him hard, focused, wanting to give Dimitri an incredible experience, too.</p>
<p>A spark of inspiration hits him and he takes his free hand, sneaking it between Dimitri’s legs to seek out his opening. He isn’t slick, and Claude isn’t about to try and open him up right now, but he rests a fingertip just there anyway, massaging his rim gently, just to tease Dimitri. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gods, if Dimitri isn’t the easiest bedmate. His hips move when he feels both of Claude’s hands playing with him. The meanest sweetest tease and Claude’s fist makes it so he can only shallowly fuck his mouth.</p>
<p>“A-Ahh, Claude!” Dimitri whines, head thrashing the longer Claude’s delightful assault continues. The suggestion he could be knuckle deep in Dimitri while sucking him hot and tight…! Floundering in ecstasy, Dimitri lets out the tears Claude told him to, crying loudly and weeping his name when he’s so close to coming. It is still - scary. Being on his back and serviced but his head stays with him, does not float off to its usual dark corners.</p>
<p>His fingers find Claude’s hair, gripping it tight when he shakes, keening in warning when he suddenly bursts in Claude’s mouth. It feels like his anxieties disappear along with his voice, leaving him panting on the bed, fingers stroking Claude’s scalp without thought. </p>
<p>Truly fucked out, his voice at first is only a croak.</p>
<p>“Darling… oh, you’ve ruined me in the best of ways.”</p>
<p>He doesn’t laugh but he’s smiling, loose limbed in their bed. “I wanted to tell you I loved you… but my tongue would not work.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Claude does laugh at that, gentle and loving. Running a hand over the roundness of Dimitri’s ass as he maneuvers his head out from between his legs. </p>
<p>“Guess you’ve lost your chance, then,” he says brightly. He can still taste Dimitri’s seed, its headiness resting on his tongue even after he swallowed every drop his lion gave him. He carefully moves so that his head is level with Dimitri’s, legs back down with his. “Here, move your legs. Let me link them with yours. That’s it.”</p>
<p>Legs tangled together, arms around each other, his beloved in his sight… Claude lets out a contented little noise before moving back in to kiss him, soft and loving, a gentle press of their mouths together. </p>
<p>“Consider it payback for what you did to me.” Claude shoots him a wink. “No idea how you got rid of your gag reflex so quickly, but I’m definitely not complaining.” He holds Dimitri close, making happy little sounds as he kisses him again, wanting to taste himself on Dimitri’s tongue. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My scoundrel.” Dimitri makes an effort but ends up getting kissed more than kissing back, tuckered out and lazy from their game. Mm… “I love you.” Because he has limitless chances to tell him. And it’s not the only thing he promised to share. “When I laid in bed all I could think of was you.”</p>
<p>In the time of their separation, but any possible turn towards heartache is avoided when he says, “No matter how absurd, I thought of all the ways I wanted to have you.” He keeps Claude tugged close with an arm around his back. </p>
<p>“Including, ah… filling my throat with my glass cock.”</p>
<p>There’s no pretty way to say it. It’s a little embarrassing to admit he practiced to that extent but he was ravenous, more so after Claude’s surprise visit. And it certainly paid off. Heh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He can’t help the way his eyes widen at that admission, completely taken aback. Not hurt or angry, but simply… struggling to process.</p>
<p>“O-oh,” he says. His face feels hot, and he can’t help the way his hand splays over Dimitri’s lower back, possessive. “That’s, ah, quite clever of you.” He shakes off his awkwardness with a chuckle. “I guess I can’t complain, ha. We both certainly reaped the rewards…”</p>
<p>Still, he feels slightly unsettled, like Dimitri now has experience Claude does not. Maybe it’s simply that Claude has never thought of doing the same with his own glass cock, which Dimitri had so generously sent him a month or two after his surprise visit. While he’s certainly made use of it, he hasn’t been so… adventurous, or ravenous with it, as Dimitri has with his. Sex, or even masturbating, without Dimitri simply doesn’t feel exciting to Claude, nowhere near as interesting to him as writing little stories to Dimitri about all the things they could do together. </p>
<p>He wonders if something’s wrong with him for feeling this way. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Expecting some sort of saucy or teasing quip, especially after Claude once demanded Dimitri tell him when he was using his toy, he’s confused by Claude’s reaction. He tries to play it off but… his face is entirely too honest after they make love. Dimitri quickly finds himself feeling guilty.</p>
<p>“Oh, I’ve made you uncomfortable.”</p>
<p>He bites his bottom lip, feeling he must have crossed a line. Overshared, somehow. Perhaps Dimitri has gotten too needy and it is overwhelming. Maybe he has lost too much of his previous restraint… </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I said too much.”</p>
<p><i>I am too much</i>, he shamefully thinks, hiding half of his face against their pillow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Claude blinks. Drawn out of his thoughts by the way Dimitri is reacting.</p>
<p>"Dima…" He sighs, cupping Dimitri's face and making him turn back toward Claude. "It isn't that. You didn't make me uncomfortable by being honest about… how you use the present I gave you. It's fine." </p>
<p>After knowing Dimitri had opened himself up with Claude's present, something he hadn't been there for… it had made him fly across the continent in a fit, feeling things he still doesn't think he's fully examined. He'd asked Dimitri to tell him every time he used the glass cock after that, something Dimitri had cheerfully refused, stating matter-of-factly that he would be using it too often to tell Claude about every time he masturbated.</p>
<p>"I want you to use my present. I gave it to you so you'd use it. So why…?" He's babbling aloud to himself more than Dimitri, and sighs again. "I'm sorry. I said something… strange." Ashamed of how possessive he is, not even willing to share Dimitri's body with Dimitri himself. What's the matter with him? </p>
<p>"It's fine," he says again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dimitri’s brow furrows in puzzlement, unable to follow exactly what Claude is saying. It’s an effort to shrug off the culture of shame he grew up steeped in, but he needs to in order to properly hear what Claude is trying to tell him… or maybe himself.</p>
<p>“I think,” he starts off slowly, “we are misunderstanding something.”</p>
<p>It had seemed strange to Dimitri, that Claude appeared jealous of “missing out” on Dimitri’s first time with his toy, so much so he’d asked the impossible of Dimitri, wanting to always know when he was using it. Dimitri can understand wanting to feel included, wanting to feel like he was there. That was why he sent him the toy in the first place but - </p>
<p>“It is not fine when I can see you so clearly troubled. Darling, you gave me my gift so I could use it when I miss you and I… missed you often. That is the truth on my end. It seems you are missing a truth on your end.” It doesn’t come out as an accusation, more an observation he softens when he pushes Claude’s hair back from his face. </p>
<p>“You cut yourself off, asking yourself why… Will you tell me the question, even if you don’t know the answer?”</p>
<p>Please, he asks in his expression, wanting to better understand this silent disconnect between them. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tell him the question, huh… Claude smiles at the way he words that, acknowledging the way Claude can too often get caught up in his head, not wanting to share before he's reached a conclusion.</p>
<p>"Gods, I love you," he says quietly. Not to derail their important conversation, but. He just wants Dimitri to know, that's all. He takes a deep breath before going back to the question he'd cut himself off from asking.</p>
<p>"I don't know why, but… sometimes when I think about you enjoying your body alone, it… it makes my chest feel tight. And it…" He sighs. "It's not because I don't want you to! If anything it makes me happy to think of you, thinking of me…" He shakes his head with a little smile. What a wonderful feedback loop.</p>
<p>"But I don't feel the same way." He sobers. "I… I never think about the toys I have, or the one you gave me, when I miss you… It doesn't feel the same when I'm not with you. And I mean, it wouldn't, it always feels better when I'm with you, but…"</p>
<p>He makes a frustrated little noise, covering his face with a hand.</p>
<p>"I think I'm jealous," he says, bright red. "Not of your toy, but… of you." Dimitri being so adventurous with himself during their time apart makes Claude feel like he's fallen behind. Dimitri having his youthful fantasies, living them out in Claude's arms, makes Claude too aware that his interest in sex had mainly been theoretical before he and Dimitri had begun courting one another. </p>
<p>"I feel like I'll always be behind," he whispers, and tears spring to his eyes. More interested in daydreaming about his lover than training his body for when Claude can be with him. So childish.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <i>I’ll always be behind.</i>
</p>
<p>It is heartbreaking to hear Claude express such dissatisfaction with himself. However, Dimitri is no stranger to the thought. For too long he has wanted to be like other people. Normal. Untroubled. Able to have conversations without being thrown abruptly to the past and alienating those around him. It’s not the same… but in other ways, Dimitri knows the feeling of not being what he wants to be or even what others expect him to be. </p>
<p>His hold around Claude is one of better understanding, a type of empathy that helps him work around how he wants to respond. Smiling into Claude’s hair, he’s not making light of their discussion when he speaks, more like he’s being his usual practical self.</p>
<p>“I think I already knew that about you. You’ve written me many one handed letters and so many wonderful tales. Stories I was afraid to tell you about but you sniffed out my interest so easily…” Like the tale of a scoundrel stealing away into his room at night, ravishing a surprised prince senseless. It is too soon to play those games but to have his fantasy known, without telling Claude himself…</p>
<p>“You do right by me, just as you are.“ He kisses his temple, squeezing him in his arms to better tuck Claude against him. “And you do not need to change, if your thoughts are what interest you most when you’re alone.”</p>
<p>So much of Claude’s life is centered around dreaming and planning, it’s not strange at all to hear, much like other physical pursuits in his life, he has little interest in taking himself in hand. His hunger for Dimitri and excitement when they are together… Dimitri is far from neglected, intimately knowing they are two separate things. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Ah…" Claude can't help the relieved tears that spring to his eyes at Dimitri's words. Knowing he is accepted despite his strangeness, the way he views masturbation with near-complete indifference…</p>
<p>"I was afraid of disappointing you." He blinks, further tears sliding down his cheeks. "When you ask me what I think of when we're apart, I don't always know what to say. When we're together, and you ask me what I want to do… I don't always have an answer. I love you so much, I love making love to you, I just, I feel…"</p>
<p>Like a blank slate. No creativity of his own to contribute. He is curious about every way they can move together. What it might be like for Dimitri to be inside him. And he's finding, through experience, what ways he likes the best. But he knows he is much better at catering to Dimitri's fantasies than coming up with his own.</p>
<p>"I just want to be with you." He rubs at his eyes. "I don't always care how." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You are my partner. All that matters is we are together.” </p>
<p>He loves Claude with a fierceness that leaves him breathless always and Dimitri kisses him, tears and all. “If I am asking what to do, it is because I love to explore with you. Things I grew up thinking were impermissible, you tell me otherwise.” Claude has made him so brave, so curious. “I am still simple and I do have my favorites but...” he trails off with some sheepishness.</p>
<p>Still, he is glowing, happy and whole when he looks at Claude. “None of that matters as long as I can be with you, talk with you and watch your mouth move.” He doesn’t have to pretend anymore. Every day now, he’ll get to see everything. </p>
<p>His eyes prickle wet all over again.</p>
<p>“I am not always confident on days clouds seem to follow me around. You refuse to let me deny myself. I thought you would be bored or burdened by me the night we made love under the covers but you touched me so tenderly, you are.” His voice breaks. Startled by the force of his emotion. “You are always showing me how desirable I am.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dimitri's words send relief flooding through Claude, clinging to Dimitri even more tightly. So, so relieved that Claude has shown his secret face to Dimitri, once again, and only been accepted by him.</p>
<p>(It was like that when he'd told him he was half-Almyran, too, curled up in his arms before the sun rose in Fhirdiad. He hadn't wanted to leave that day without telling him; hadn't been ready to tell Dimitri when they were in school, and hadn't been willing to relegate the news to a letter once he'd been ready to speak. But Dimitri had held him, called him his eastern star, told him how much he was loved, and Claude had wept in relief.)</p>
<p>"I always desire you," he says softly. "You, and only you." He kisses Dimitri's collarbone, curling up against his chest. "Thank you for letting me open up," he says softly. "I've been carrying it for… a long time." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Only Dimitri. His Dima. Claude’s soon to be husband. They are such few small words but every time he hears them, thinks them, Dimitri feels a security that exists nowhere else in his life. Few things are guaranteed but Dimitri no longer doubts himself, knows they will always love each other, reward each other’s bravery and trust. </p>
<p>Cuddling Claude to his chest like his favorite pillow, Dimitri knows this is what he missed most. Their love making will always be wonderful and they’re sure to continue groping at one another until they are back in bed but speaking honestly, assuaging each other’s fears, here they can be whole - cherished, protected. </p>
<p>“You are my joy and I will help carry any burden, no matter if it belongs to Khalid or Claude.”</p>
<p>His secrets and fears will always be safe with Dimitri. They have been since they were boys passing notes in class, unaware of the night they would become tangled up in one another. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had never imagined he could feel so whole in someone's arms until the night Dimitri welcomed him into them. Still so amazed that in spite of nearly five years apart, nothing has diminished between them. Their connection has only strengthened, their love only deepened. </p>
<p>Claude has always clicked into place at Dimitri's side, the lost puzzle piece finally finding its way home. </p>
<p>"I know." He smiles into Dimitri's chest, unwilling to disentangle himself even for an instant. "And your tender heart will always be safe in my hands."</p>
<p>Crying or laughing, angry or blissful, Claude will always make sure Dimitri is safe to be himself, and express what is in his soft heart, to Claude. No matter what anyone else says. </p>
<p>"I promise."</p>
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